Thought on Marriage.

During the last couple of weeks, there have been events going on that I have been thinking or maybe second guessing about marriage. I am happy with my marriage and I was a nervous wreck but I decide it is the best thing in the world since I am happy with her. But as time goes on, some people that I met as married come up divorced in the end. That is one thing that really scared me when I was a kid. A divorce. My parents have been married for over 40 years and I still couldn't figure out why they have worked out well as they did. Now when I got married, I am facing with the same things that makes a marriage work. The question is: How does it work?

No one really knows.

I had a question from one of my friends asked me if marriage is good as it ever is, or does it make you feel complete. That could be a myth. At a time when at least 50% of all marriages ended in divorce, those ideas may not real from at a time when I was growing up. My uncle was married for 18 years before they ended up divorcing. Also part of my dad's family which I like, ended up divorcing. Why? No one knows. I am my own person. My wife is her own person too. At times, we have disagreements. Frustration mostly but when all those subsides, we still keep communicating. We are both different people at times but we share the same goal of what we want to do in our future. I never knew any of this before I got married. It is a big learning experience. I fell that communication and trust is the most important thing in a marriage. The ceremony can be the most surreal of anybody life and it could be the best time of your life, but when it is all over, bam! You have to live and deal with each other.

Has marriage changed me? Yes. It has changed me as a person. I still be my own person but now I have other commitments. I don't bowl at least 3 leagues a week anymore. Plus I am inspired to do new things and hobbies that I never worth pursuing. Sometimes a marriage can do that. I will still continue to work on it. It is a must. Sometimes a lot of people don't go with that route. Just giving it up or blame their spouse for the problems which I don't want to do. I never thought it will be a lot to think about but I am in it for the long run.

What if?

Well 2009 has come to a end. I feel relieved. We have been so much as a couple. After loosing half of my hours and 10% of my pay, my wife has been taking more calls at her work. She has very strange hours and sometimes I don't get to see her for the whole day. It is tough because I wanted to work more to relieve the stress that my wife goes though everyday at her work. We are able to work things out because we know this is a temporary situation. So I am looking forward to 2010. I will be going back to school to study IT. I am excited and movited to have a better kind of work that I enjoy doing. I feel 2010 will be a better year for us.

We didn't really do any kind of partying for New Years. We just took it easy. There was one movie that we saw. It was called "(500) Days Of Summer." There was a scene when Summer sees Tim at their favorite spot when they were dating. This was the end of the movie when Tim realized that she is married and how she met her future husband. It was done without any thought. They said hello and agreed to have a coffee together. If she didn't do that, she wouldn't find the love of her life. That scene put a spark in my head.

In December of 2006, I was on Friendster checking out to see if I had any messages for the day. I was tired of going into a online relationship again. I felt that I wasted a lot of times wanting it to happen. I checked to see who viewed my profile. One of the people viewed my profile was a person named Irma. She is from Chicago and I noticed that she is a friend of one of my acquaintances from bowling. So I thought to send her a message to her. Not only she replied but after a month of half of sending messages, we decided to meet and the rest is history. After dating for 2 years, I popped the question and she accepted. We got married on April 8, 2009. Looking back to it now and seeing that movie, I was thinking. What if didn't send her a message? What if she didn't viewed my profile? I could not be where I am and my life would be very different. I look back at that I and go "Wow. How did that happen?" That is something I really can't explain.

Writing again.

For 3 years, I was writing in my MySpace blog. I used to be really prolific writer back in the day with observations about life, my life, events I see and just random things in general. It all came to a end when a couple of things happened.

1. I got a bad feeling when someone in real life that I was good friends with, got offended with an entry and said that I was "coincided" and any other bad word that you can think of.
2. When I first started dating my future wife to be.

Those two events made me decide to stop blogging. Why? What was I thinking? Blogging was a outlet for me in those days to reflect on what was going on. I stopped for the sake of one person? I am feeling better because I am writing again and I still don't feel motivated enough to write all the time. I am married now and that makes it not easier to write what comes to mind that you want to share to the world and to express just to get it out of your system. When I got married, I just wanted to limit the amount that I do just to make my wife happy but I found out that was not the case. Why limit yourself after you got so much in the world in the palm of your hand?