Deactivated....

I did something for the first time and it happened only the second day of the new year. I don't normally do it and I am tolerant of what people post and what comments lately, but something set me off. It was not just one person, it was some people during the course of a week and a half. I could blame people for me to do it but in the end, I needed a break. There are at times I don't know how to deal with it and that has been a struggle for me for years and years. I listen to what people say because I respect them even if they are blunt to a point or there was something to be point out. But in the end, I deactivated my Facebook account.

One of the things that I really struggle with is, being too sensitive of what people feelings are. I know that some of these should not bother me but at times when I respect people, I don't say anything bad. I rarely say anything bad to anybody. But at times when I feel negativity toward me of what kind of a person of what I say, I get withdrawn and not talk to anybody. I know that is not really a healthy way to do it but at times I need a break. I could blame Facebook and blame people but I can't. I blame myself and the struggle to deal and to understand is confusing.

During the years of bowling, at the time when any team gets in first place, I put pressure on myself that you can't believe. There were people that criticize my game but I let me game do the talking. I could say, Well other people have an opinion and it is theirs but some people get pissed because you are saying something back to them. There are times which I don't know what to do. There are times when I don't want to talk to anybody out of fear they will get offended and hurt. I don't know if being myself is a good thing to people. The more that I think about it, the more I get mixed up. It doesn't bother me of what people post and I never have a problem with it. If it doesn't bother me, then it shouldn't bother anybody of what I post. But in the age of Facebook, people post anything and even take offense of things of what you post.

After 6 years of being on Facebook, maybe it is a good way to step back and have my privacy back. I am still on Twitter so I will keep that open. I don't know when I will be back on Facebook though. It could be next week, next month or next year. We will see.

Back at it...again...

I haven't bowled in over 2 weeks. This month has really took a toll on me. I had the flu for 5 days and it really took a wind out of my sails. When bowling again, I have to rebuild my strength of not only how to roll it but get it back when I used to before I got sick. I have to admit it is no easy but being away from the game for over 2 weeks, I have a itch to practice. I miss the game and bowling is a way to relax and get away from things. Now I need to get ready for some tournaments. Looking forward to go back to Reno for the USBC's. Bowling at the stadium there is a experience to believe. It is good getting back into the game. Happy New Year everyone!

It felt like a 1 and 2 punch....

December 14th will be the day that I will remember the most in a long time. I never felt this way before on any day. When I heard the news, you could probably stab me in the back or the stomach. It was so wrenching and so heartbreaking that I really couldn't fathom how someone would have the mind would kill innocent kids at a elementary school. Yes! An elementary school! I have a one year old daughter and thought in my mind said, this can't be happening. Then I said, yes it is happening and it has happened before but no action.

Every blame that I see is about everything from the movies that is out there, music lyrics, violent video games and some peoples (including politicians (smh) ) says the answer is not let guns but MORE guns! Really! Is that going to solve anything? I don't think any children want to go to school that feels like a prison. As an American I do belief that it is okay to have a gun, but NOT an assault weapon. In my childhood, I went through my dad's dresser near the bed and I saw a small gun there. I didn't ask and I didn't tell. I was scared to death seeing that. I should have asked about that but I don't think my dad was willing to tell or just say "Get away from that dresser."

What can we do? Can you say mind illness? Could be however I am not saying. Our decaying culture of what great it used to be? Maybe. Something has to happen from our president to our congress. Our congress is decaying and it is not going to get anything done unless something happens and I hope this is it. Something has to happen. This was a new low in my nation.

What to do..what to do...

Well today, my contract with my carrier is up and now it comes to decide what to do. I have been using both of these phones during my tenure. I gave my wife the Android phone due to my impulse reaction on charging the battery all the time due to the apps and my persistence to check out on a normal basis. These are both Nokia phones and they always the best when it comes to call quality. The one on the left is a E71x that my wife bought from a friend to replace a Blackberry Flip that she had issues. The one on the right is a N97 that we got in the Philippines back in 2010.

The Nokia N97 was good at the time but now since the apps are taking more memory and install on the phone memory rather than the mass memory, I can't use much apps and it is slow due to the apps taking over most of the phone memory. The speaker on the phone loses volume no matter despite being on maximum volume. Despite all of this, I have to keep rebooting and hard reboot just to clean apps up that I decide not to use. I plan to keep on using the phone as a GPS since I do like the Nokia Maps as a GPS.

The question is now, what phone to get next. I have looked around at places and checking out phones what to get. When we bought the Nokia N97 in the Philippines, they had a lot of selection that we didn't get. Anything from Nokia, Samsung, Sony Ericsson are there at your fingertips. I haven't seen any Sony Ericsson phone in the US for years. If we get a iPhone, then we have to think about if we really want to switch to a difference carrier since only AT&T, Verizon and Sprint offer iPhones or stick with T-Mobile and get any Android or Windows Phone that is out there even those 3 carriers sell them too. We will see.

One week later....

It has been close to one more week since the election, and I really can't get over the feeling since. It is the first time in my life that I felt a sense of something that I never experienced. Call me crazy but America is changing and it is not going to be the same anymore that I used to see it as. Lets face it, we are a multinational, multicultural nation with ever person believing in different religions and ideas. People come all over the world just to make a dream and to live it. Just like my mom who came from Germany when she was 4 years old. How about that?

It has been over 10 years since 9/11 and I am weary about war. I am weary of people hating people just because of a different faith or race. I am weary about the Republican party due to their extreme and bigot statements and not able to compromise. I am weary of people that go on hate crimes just because they are "not American." I am weary about people saying that the election was a "tragic day" and "America died." Pearl Harbor was tragic, 9/11 was tragic but this election was kind of historic in a way.

The world is changing and America is on to something new. I don't know what it is but that song by Bob Dylan is in my mind. We will survive. We will be okay.

Decisons....decisions...decisions.....

Time to get new phones. Our contract with our carrier is almost up and now we are planning to switch. With all of the new smartphones out and different operating systems, it is getting hard to choose. With so much competition, it makes it very hard to figure out what phone is the best and to the one that represents you. What could that be...

iOS?
Android?
Windows Phone?
Symbian?

I have a Nokia N97 that I bought in the Philippines back in 2010. I was in love with the cellular stores since they have every company that makes them. I got Nokia because it was a maker of my first cellphone that I ever had. They had the reputation of great design and good phones. Over time now, Nokia has an agreement with Microsoft to handle it's Windows Phone OS on Nokia phones, and it has become a 2 horse race with iPhones and mostly Samsung phones.

All through out my feeds on FB and G+ these days, you have people that live and die with Apple and then you have the people that are all about android. Each one is taking jabs over each other and it is deja vu. This case of Apple Vs. Samsung reminds me of the Apple Vs. Microsoft court case. I am neither a fanboy when it comes to this saying on which is the best these days. If we do get a iPhone, I can be happy by saying that I have bought a iPhone. Nothing less, nothing more.

Taking the plunge to...Windows 8

I have read a lot press on Windows 8. I have been using Mac's in the home for the last 6 years. I still have a PC around and I am using it today. I downloaded the Widows 8 Preview and installed it to my PC. There was a problem booting it so I though "Oh boy." It worked on my iMac using Boot Camp. So I played around with it. It was a completely different experience than I was used to when it comes to Windows.

I finally made the plunge and put it in my old PC. I have to say I do like the look of it and the experience, it will take time getting used to. That said, I do enjoy it and I do like what Microsoft is doing. They are making a all round tablet and not only give their OS a fresh look.

My Windows 8 Screen

The more I use it, the more that I like it. Although for people that are really used to the previous edition of Windows, it will take time getting use to. There are not much apps to speak of but that will depend if more people sign on. It will take a extra click to get where you want to go, especially if you still want to run programs via desktop. It boots fast and it take less amount of time to get everything ready.

But the one thing I was most impressed with is IE. Yes, IE. I am mostly using Chrome or Firefox but I was impressed how IE is fast and the vivid look of the web pages. It is a good thing that Microsoft made something with different in mind but give it a fresh new look.

I don't know if Windows 8 is going to be a big splash and not sure if more people will make the jump, but it is a good start. I am more curious about Windows Phone 8. If Windows 8 looks promising, then the phone operating system is. Who knows what goes on from here though.

That's all folks!

I never been outspoken in my political views. So much so that when when I got back from bowling tonight when all the results are through, Obama won a second term. After that, I just breathed a sigh of relief that this 2012 Presidential election is finally over. After months and months of negative political ads on TV, posts on Twitter and Facebook, flyers in my mailbox and plenty of phone calls, I never ever experienced quite a election like this and it pretty much changed my thinking what our government represents. 

I came to a decision after going back and forth not to vote. After voting in 3 presidential elections, it got to a point that all the negativity was too much, especially to the Republican party. I was raised by the fact that you have to respect the President. No matter if you agree with him or not. You go in and decide who is the best person that can do the job. So I was going to put it all in gods hands on what is best. I don't want to complain about it later.

As I was driving home from bowling this evening, I usually get a sense of feeling and calm when I drive. As I was hearing the results and Obama being re-elected, to me it felt like we are in a new kind of America. We are a multi-cultural society with different beliefs, but we are all one. I feel all those people that had rough years, but they will get through it. I will get though it as well. That is all that i can ask for the moment. I was not raised to show hate to a person like this election. I don't think my mom will approve of that. I don't know what will happen for the next 4 years. I am all for the ride and see where it goes and be happy for what I have. That is all I could do.

Times that you have to shut it off....

The internet is an addiction. Plain and simple. The more times I think about it, sometime I think why am I doing this or posting what I posting. Of course, you might get those people that say about everything about their detail life on FB. Not only that but looking for a significant other. I have read a lot of those profiles about it.

It was 10 years ago that I went through 2 relationships that lasted 6 months. I was depressed about life and looking for "the one" that will make complete. I was cheated but it did for a reason and it was my fault too in that matter. I was in a deep rut that most of my depression situated when I was growing up, but I didn't know about it until that time. I was looking for companionship to fill my emptiness. The internet is a sure thing due endless time of chats late at night and a webcam to see each other. As more and more people are getting into it, the more empty I became. I mean, there is nothing like seeing people in person, a phone call or just to hang out. From when I graduated in 1997 till around 2004-2005, I was on the internet all the time chatting away. I lost a lot in my life. I still bowled but never tried anything different until I gave ballroom dancing a shot. My mom said it was dancing that saved my life and I became much happy again just by going out. I have nothing against online relationships but sometimes to experience happiness, you have to just shut it off for a while and go somewhere.

The internet is a wonderful place, if you are careful. People can post anything or talk about anything and do what they please. I don't chat as much as I can anymore but I try to do it once in a while. It is good to talk to people but hopefully I will be able to see them in person. I have a host in Malaysia that offered me and my wife to spend time with them. Sometimes there are good people in the world. Got to know when to talk and then are times that you have to shut it off.

Thought on 10/20/12

I am american however I am on this world for a reason. It is amazing how social networking can throw governments to one direction and connecting people from all faiths and backgrounds. With all of the media focusing on the minority rather than the majority, communicating people from different nations really opens my mind to a lot of things. There are times I hope that more people talk rather than being ignorant and attacking things that they don't understand. If we don't understand, we should ask questions. The world will be in a better place when we respect other peoples views on anything.

Think before you click.

The more I logged in Facebook these days, the more and more disappointed I get of what people post. I am reading of more things that are hateful and negative to people. People mad because they don't add each other as friends and complain about life in general. You probably heard it a lot. Well I can't blame about Facebook because Facebook doesn't post things for you automatically. You are what you are and what you post. I understand that some of them need a outlet and what better outlet to have than social networking.

Think before you click. It is that simple.

Long time no write.

It has been a way long time since I last wrote something. Some of it is due laziness while some is for more important thing that came in me and my wife's life. On December 10, our daughter Ella was born. It capped 9 months of pregnancy, 24 hours of labor, and 1 hour and 45 minutes of pushing to get this 9lb 4oz baby to come out.

Our daughter Ella

For the last 3 weeks, we have been staying in one room and taking care of the baby. So we have the laptop to check our Social networking and watch programs. We very rarely watch TV but when she gets older, we will be able to get back to our regular routine. We are trying to raise our daughter the best that we can. It is not a perfect world these days.

Another thing that is changing. I have been getting more in Google+ these days? Why? With all the hype of it saying it is a FB killer, most of my friends haven't made the switch. I thought to give it a try. Why not take advantage of it. It took me a while to get a network going but then lately, I have been communicating people from Malaysia. I am new to the country and communicating really opens my mind to things. One thing I realized that we are human beings just like anybody else. I have done a couple of hangouts and taking advantage of the services that offers and I have to say I am impressed with it. It gives you more flexibility to use rather than FB. Facebook has been getting way too complicated. However how small Google+ is, one of these days it could go the same way when it comes to Facebook of what people have posted.

Google+ has inspired me to learn a new country and way of life.

I know a lot of people have talked bad about social networking but today it is getting more important in the way we look at the world. It allows us to communicate, learn something, starts revolutions and anything that you can imagine. I wonder what could happen when my daughter gets into high school and college. Only I would know. So here is for a good year of 2012 and more time to learn, inspire and communicate with people.

In The Beginning

I was 4 years old when I first saw one at a Rolling Meadows community center.  I was not sure what it was but it was something that really opened my eyes. You can pretty much say it was a beginning a love affair with a computer. Not just any computer, it was an Apple computer. It was that moment that I remember my life would not be the same. Anytime I would go to a computer lab, I would be transfixed at the computers around the lab. At that time, there were no Windows, as I haven’t seen one what windows is at the time.

From Kindergarten through 8^th grade, I always was in front of an Apple computer. I have done my homework at class with it and also played games on a compatible one at home. My next-door neighbor had a Macintosh and I was transfixed on this kind of computer not only using a mouse with a point and click of a mouse. There is nothing like an Apple Computer. It was simple, easy and it was able to get the job done. By 9^th grade, there were no Apple computers around except of an Apple IIgs in in one room and a couple of Macintoshes in one computer lab. I first heard of Windows through this time and it was all WordPerfect, and that was the beginning that I was on a IBM compatible computer. I was able to get my homework done and still learn from it but I knew something was missing.

Despite working on IBM and Windows computer for most of my high school and college years, I always see an Apple computer. Despite all of those years working on Windows,  I would never forget the first time that I laid my eyes on a Apple product. From 2001 through 2005 I was mostly using Windows and it was my first computer I ever bought with my own money. Through that time, I hear about the buzz when it comes to the iMac since my college days. I was getting tired with Windows due to everything about it.  So I decided to get a iMac. It was a big risk since not much people have heard it and a lot of PC users were bashing it. But ever since I got it, it felt something that I was missing all those years when I first saw a computer. It still has that Apple trademark. It was simple and easy to use.

I still have the iMac that I have bough those years ago and I never really had any problems in the 5 years I’ve had it. I never got a virus warning, never got a warning saying that I “performed an illegal operation.” I made videos on it. I collected my photos and I play music and even record them. You can do that with other computers but for me, there is nothing like an Apple computer. When I learned about Steve Jobs passing this evening, it made me think of all those years why we have computers, iPods and iPhones today. Where would be if we didn’t have those products? In 1998 when he came back to the company that he had founded, he told everybody to “Think Different” than what everyone else was thinking. I can understand why some people can’t ever forget about the first time they saw or used an Apple Computer, iPod or a iPhone. Maybe that has why it has gotten to a point when it is the most valuable company in the world today. There will not be another person like Steve Jobs in our lifetime and I am happy that I was able to experience it. You will be missed and thank you for the vision that you shared with us and most importantly, the products that you introduced to us. 

September 11th - Ten Years Later

It was just like any other September day.  The weather was mild, breezy, and sunny that really makes your body feel relaxed. On that day of the attacks that hit the World Trade Center in New York, I was at the airport visiting a friend that was flying to Denver. It was the last time that I just went through security. I didn’t see the person that day so I just left. It was really quiet walking back not knowing what was happening in New York on that day. You can say that I was lucky to just get out of the airport. I didn’t see what was happening until I saw a TV that says “WTC towers attacked.” My first thought was “What is the WTC?” So it didn’t really sink in as the time goes by. At work, the whole atmosphere was solemn. Everyone was quiet; the store manager had the TV on all the time. I mean, this was big. I am the kind of person that it takes time for me to realize what was going on. I had to bowl league that night and that was the first time I saw the plane go through the towers. My first thought was not about anger like some people were. My first question is “Why?” Then I couldn’t believe they said the towers fell down. What? The World Trade Center is gone? It still didn’t sink in.

Post 9/11 I was asking more questions. I was not surprised what happened next as our nation will attack when we are being attacked. The president had to do something, even if is something I don’t agree at times but he is the commander in chief. As the day goes by, there was something that was happening around Chicago. There was a mosque being vandalized in Oak Lawn, and there was a lot of anger. It became all surreal for me to deal with and ask myself a lot of questions on what was happening in this world that we are living in. That was the first time the word “Islam” and “Muslim” appeared and I thought, “Interesting. What makes it different and what do they believe in?” 

In 2004, I made a decision that will change my life for the better. I was asked to join a bowling league on Saturdays. This was a league for a cause and I thought, “Sure why not! I will be happy to do it for a cause. This was a completely different environment and it is mostly Filipino people. So I started bowling for that league and one of the first things I did was to adapt to everything around me. Learn about the country, culture, people and some of the languages. I am sure that people where surprised and I was eager to learn more about something. I started communicating with people from Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Vietnam and more from the Philippines. Some are Muslim and some are not. About 5% of the population of the Philippines is Muslim. Just learning more about people and just realizing that able to make friends overseas really makes the world smaller place.

As I am writing this today, I am doing this for myself and how 9/11 made me be the person that I was not before. What I learned and what is has made me today? There is going to be people that will hate and like you. It is better to learn about something than to judge what an individual thinks. Show people respect even if they don’t respect you. Everyone has opinions about anything. Don’t hate, educate. I have learned not to take everything personally and assume everything around me. It has really made me aware how communication though people is the best learning tool for me to use. That is why it is important to me. A lot of people lost their husband, wives, friends, mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, son, daughter, brother and a sister on that day. I never know when my time is up so it is better to communicate better and learn better. I am still American and I will be American and for me being here in this country and the world is the best gift anyone can have. My recent friend from Malaysia asked me one day when I was more open for myself. I told her it was the day in September that changed the world. Looking back how much I changed and think about things now, I can hope for things will be better and now we can be much nicer to people and learn from them rather than judging. That is my only hope to make the world a better place. A person can dream can’t he? I think any person could.

The dreaded Captains Meeting...

If these is one thing I really dread about the bowling season, is the honorary Captains meeting. It just seems every year is more surreal than the next. The captains on the teams are forced in a room and vote on the rules, money, handicap and all other issues. I mean everyone wants the handicap to be high to battle against the better bowlers to make it even. However we had 2 captains meting at the beginning and end of the practice session.

We had a one team that is blind. Apparently I heard they will fill that team. The issue was a all women's team (we are in a mens league mind you), and these average over 200. I had no problem with that, if they have a caliber to do that. At the end of the 1st meeting, they all agreed to bring them in. Since it was a full team and that means more money at the prize fund, it will be called a invitational rather than a mens league.

After practice, they got called in another meeting. I don't know what happened. Miscommunication? Disagreement? Whatever it is, the team backed out and it still going to be a blind team and a mens league. One said it was "sexist." Another said the old hats made the vote. Whatever it is and I still don't know what happened when everything blew up on this. A lot of men don't want to get beat by good women bowlers? I don't know but this is one of the reasons that I might leave leagues and bowl in tournaments only. Thankfully it only happens once a year! Whew.

A long drought.

I haven't even wrote in a long time but slowly but surely, getting in the habit. I am getting right back for the bowling season that will start on Friday. I haven't have any time to practice or to work something. Despite bowling for years, you have to keep going. My game I felt was going downhill to such a point that I had to work on something to get ready for the easy. I still have some ways to go but I came to a realization that I can't put too much pressure on myself and bowl the way that I used to.

But I still have it for what I have. So might as well do my best this season and have fun. I still take things very seriously and I have to admit I am always learning something new to handle things. But take it one day at a time and enjoy it. I am looking forward for the bowling season. No wonder bowling has been through for me though ups and downs in life.

Writing on the road.

I am here in Galana, Illinois, A small town located about 15 miles from the Iowa state border. Galena is a tourist destination for Chicagoans to get away from the hustle and bustle from the city. It is known for it's architecture and historic connections. After a good Thanksgiving dinner, we decided to go. The drive to get here is more like a experience in itself. Most of the roads is flat but to get here, there are a lot of hills. Must be a nightmare for truck drivers to get to Iowa this way especially if they are going to Dubuque. Dubuque is a nice place. Filled with shopping and a casino at the port. We did gamble and we broke even. Before I didn't even gamble or not good but now I am getting used to it. Today we will be heading downtown Galena to check things out and drive back to our home in Chicago while stopping over halfway to Rockford to shop. I do enjoy traveling and it is really a relaxing thing to do and see different places. Here are some links to Galena if you want to check out.

Wikipedia entry on Galena, Illinois

Official site to Galena, Illinois

Back home

Well I finally came back home after spending 27 day in the Philippines. All those nerves that I had before the trip, quickly faded away over time. It was a trip that was very memorable especially the first day. I will write more about that in a separate entry. Even though I am sad to leave my wife's family and attend my current life in the states, I can see why most Filipinos miss being home. It is way more laid back. Money is not in big supply but they are happy. The shows on TV are different especially the noon time shows like Wowwowwee and Showtime. My wife really misses being home but we will be back there again and I am looking forward for that.

Thought on Marriage.

During the last couple of weeks, there have been events going on that I have been thinking or maybe second guessing about marriage. I am happy with my marriage and I was a nervous wreck but I decide it is the best thing in the world since I am happy with her. But as time goes on, some people that I met as married come up divorced in the end. That is one thing that really scared me when I was a kid. A divorce. My parents have been married for over 40 years and I still couldn't figure out why they have worked out well as they did. Now when I got married, I am facing with the same things that makes a marriage work. The question is: How does it work?

No one really knows.

I had a question from one of my friends asked me if marriage is good as it ever is, or does it make you feel complete. That could be a myth. At a time when at least 50% of all marriages ended in divorce, those ideas may not real from at a time when I was growing up. My uncle was married for 18 years before they ended up divorcing. Also part of my dad's family which I like, ended up divorcing. Why? No one knows. I am my own person. My wife is her own person too. At times, we have disagreements. Frustration mostly but when all those subsides, we still keep communicating. We are both different people at times but we share the same goal of what we want to do in our future. I never knew any of this before I got married. It is a big learning experience. I fell that communication and trust is the most important thing in a marriage. The ceremony can be the most surreal of anybody life and it could be the best time of your life, but when it is all over, bam! You have to live and deal with each other.

Has marriage changed me? Yes. It has changed me as a person. I still be my own person but now I have other commitments. I don't bowl at least 3 leagues a week anymore. Plus I am inspired to do new things and hobbies that I never worth pursuing. Sometimes a marriage can do that. I will still continue to work on it. It is a must. Sometimes a lot of people don't go with that route. Just giving it up or blame their spouse for the problems which I don't want to do. I never thought it will be a lot to think about but I am in it for the long run.

The End Of An Era.

On December 31, 2009, my mom retired. After 30 years at Mary Kay Cosmetics it was an end of a era. About 5 people left that day and being replaced with young workers. My mom and the other people received a package to leave. She thought it would never come for this to end. She is the kind of person that loves to help people and able to take a extra mile just to make a customer happy. When they offered her the deal, she took it and it was something that she couldn't refuse. On that day, I came in from her last hour of work and my wife came with me. Walking into the place for the last time was a time for me of looking back of a company that I grew up with. Funny isn't it?

I still remember going in that place and seeing all the women that worked there though the years. Most of the people have been there have worked there for 30 years and they even remember me though all the time. From being in that kind of environment, it really was a big influence for me. Mary Kay's motto was to "enrich women lives." She famously said that "god comes first, family second and career third" was the basis of her company. Even though I was a small boy and growing up through the years, I think I applied that principal when it comes to women. I love women. I think women are the most precious people. I don't know why but there is something about them that makes them unique more than anything else. That is one thing that really had a effect on me. My mom actually met Mary Kay Ash herself in Dallas in the late 90's and she said it was the best time of her life. Just actually meeting the founder of the company that brought my mom happiness.

As time time wounded down and tears flew from her co-workers, she handed in her badge and walked out from her work for the last time. What have I learned about this? Be proud of your work. Just being yourself and do whatever you enjoy to do. My mom really loved her work and she was really dedicated to it. Even when it had it's negatives, she looked more at the positives from her work. As much I am sad that it is the last time that I will be at the site, it was something that I will remember for the rest of my life. I will always be a Mary Kay kid.